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Below are excerpts from thisstrife.com/sluggy/tmstsep04.htm.

08/09/04 (Visitor Counter=93,686): A Tragedy and a Blessing
O frabjous day.
OMG IT'S JHC! Yesterday, I received a gift in the mail from one of my overseas fans. That brightened up my day. It was indeed a PLASTIC JESUS H. CHRIST ACTION FIGURE WITH GLIDING ACTION! Truly, this is what Jesus is all about. Four little wheels underneath His feet. But then I realised something horrible. A realisation so chilling, so disturbing, that the background appeared to grow behind me in that weird zooming/moving-camera effect way, and pizzicato strings began chiping eerily like insects on the soundtrack, slowly gliding up into the disturbing upper registers.


Do you know what this means? Skaters are protected by God. Now how can we point and laugh at them when they try to do fancy tricks and fall flat on their faces, without incurring the wrath of the Almighty Himself?
This explains why skaters wear pads, and seem to always be bleeding! That's not injuries from their hilariously painful failed attempts at doing fancy tricks at all! That's stigmata! The pads are to cover it up so that they don't bleed all over everyone!

So how can we use this bit of information to predict what the return of Jesus will be like when Armageddon is upon us? Using the latest in computer tech-ma-nology, that's how! And here is the result. This is what the second coming of Jesus H. Christ will be like:

Teh Messiah!

As you can see, when the end of the world arrives, the fate of humanity is going to be left in the hands of skaters. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will probably be anti-skater advocates, specifically "Crabby Old Lady", "Grouchy Old Policeman", "Dorky Teenager Who Wishes He Was Cool Enough To Skate" and, um, some sort of Antichrist, perhaps, if we can ever get around to electing one. So. Which side will YOU be rooting for?
10/09/04 (Visitor Counter=93,886): HOTEL BASHY!

UPDATE - More info about Jesus H. Christ being a skater: It is quite likely that Jesus' Walking-on-Water "miracle" was actually just a bit of surfing. Jesus was trying to teach Saint Peter how to surf, but Pete lost it and like totally wiped out. Bummer, dude! Here is disputable photographic evidence that Jesus was indeed a surfer.

And while we're on the subject of faith, today's Iggy comic is a metaphorical battle between satanists and psycho religious zealots.